SHOCKING SECRETS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE! On Death, the Devil, and SEX!

BEWARE OF DIARIES

Said the Raven, “Nevermore”  

HAUNTING DIARIES: A CAUTIONARY TALE 

Dear Diary – Woke this morning in a fishnet bodysuit, seasick on a sloshing blue waterbed.

A “God, Guns and Glory.” tattoo faded on the bulging bicep of the naked man snoring next to me. Technically, next to an empty fifth of Wild Turkey and Tarot cards strewn between us – “THE MAGICIAN” card slipped between my sweaty breasts.

Storm winds gusted through a broken window tangling his spider web blonde mullet,  lying on a bare pillow. Underneath it, a 38 special nosed toward my face. What, where and who the hell was this?

Dear Reader: I have faithfully kept diaries since the fifth grade. I have NEVER inscribed a scene nearly as salacious as the above – at least not before Junior High! My (FICTIONAL!) prologue serves only to grab your attention, and to illustrate a point.

Point being: Anyone who has poured deep dark desires into a diary, will at some point ask this question:

“What if I die suddenly, and my mother, husband, dealer, daughter, probation officer, etc., finds this diary and discovers the details of my sordid life? I’ll be unable to flee, plead insanity or defend myself.”

This, my Brave Fellow Diarists, is the risk we take. Why do we do it? A range of motives comes to mind – narcissism, revenge, personality disorders or just plain boredom. In my case, all of the above applies.

My father, Emmett Lloyd Lee, died July 1, at age 89. As he went into self-imposed exile on his 80th birthday, I pleaded with him to to record his life in three guided-questions diaries that I gave him.  Wildly eccentric, a natural humorist, in the Southern Gothic tradition, he compulsively filled every page, baring all.

Dad, circa 1955

Dad, circa 1955

Below is a random entry, one of my favorites.

Question: “LIST ALL CELEBRITIES YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH” 

AMERICA'S FIRST FIRST LADY AND SEX ICOM

MARTHA WASHINGTON FIRST FIRST LADY/SEX ICON

 

One of Dad's Sexiest Women Alive

BARBARA BUSH – SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE!

Dad’s Answer: “This book is obviously not meant for Octogenarians. But here goes:

  1. Caesar Augustus’ wife, Livia
  2. Catherine the Great
  3. Alexandra, the last RussionTsarina
  4. The last Chinese Empress
  5. Eleanor Roosevelt
  6. Queen Elizabeth
  7. Queen Victoria
  8. Margaret Truman

    catherinethegreat

    CATHERINE THE GREAT Need we say more?

  9. Tillie the Toiler

  10. Winnie Winkle
  11. Martha Washington
  12. Mary Todd Lincoln
  13. Scarlett O’Hara
  14. Joan Crawford
  15. Lillian Russell
  16. Mata Hari
  17. Madame Maria Espengalia
  18. Lady Bird Johnson
  19. Old Mrs. Bush
  20. Alice Roosevelt
  21. Jenny Lind
  22. Amelia Earhart
  23. Hillary Clinton
  24. Frances Lee (my wife)
  25. The Queen of Sheeba
  26. The lost love “whom the angels named Lenore” – from Poe’s “The Raven

 

 

About georgialeesays

Award-winning journalist, editor and writer of multiple genres. Former Bureau Chief, Womens Wear Daily and W magazine. Past director, Ivy Hall, The SCAD Atlanta writing center. Vice President, programming for Atlanta Writers Club. Freelance writer/editor of every subject in the known universe. Lover of clean, clear writing -"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book." - Nietzsche. I teach yoga, meditation, in retreat settings. Seeker of truth and transcendence. Reincarnation of Edgar Allen Poe. "Life is but a dream within a dream within a dream" Write. Create. Learn. Dance. Yoga. Sleep. Dream.
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